anxiety anyone??

I have enough for everyone. How awful is it that Courtney is almost 2 and she has not had a weekend...no, a night...no, more than 6 hours away from me and Paul? I thought this was normal, I thought I was being a good mommy but God told me other wise the other day. Ok, God himself didn't, but He used the powerful Perry Noble to tell me such a thing. I think P.N. stated it as 'way to go, you are raising a social outcast'. Oh, his word choice is amazing. 

So, on that note, the anxiety part...Courtney is heading to my parent's house for the weekend tomorrow. I am meeting them half way (they live 4 hours from us) and letting the reigns go. Ok, not letting them go, more like making them longer. I can not let them go just yet, she is my baby girl. C'mon now! 

But, I am having down right anxiety. Like, wedding day heart pompulations(I can't figure out how to spell the word I am looking for, just roll with me here). Like, too much caffeine heart racing. Like, can't sit still, gotta do something. Like, what the heck am I typing ANXIETY! 

Am I worried about her? No, she's going with my parents. Seriously, what could go wrong? They live out in the middle of no where, at least 45 minutes to the nearest hospital. No worries there. They have lots of wood steps leading to a tile floor that she has once fallen down. No worries there. They live on a lake and she thinks she knows how to swim because I tell her so when she is in the bathtub of 5 inches of water. No worries there. She will be 4 hours away from home; not 4 steps. No worries there. Seriously, why would I worry? :-) 

Honestly, I'm not worried. I am having pure separation anxiety. I am hoping she wakes up tonight crying so I can bring her to bed with me. Maybe I should go run the blender at 2 am or vacuum her room at 3? She might cry then and I would only feel right bringing her back to bed with me once she has woken up from such a thing. Right? 

Oh, I will be fine. I will get to sleep in. I can go to Target (have you been to the new Target yet?!?!) for how ever long I want. I can...well, I think those are the only 2 things she hinders. She is perfect, you know. :-)

Well, we are off tomorrow, she will be back Sunday night. Please shout out a prayer (and seriously, shout it, so God doesn't mistake it for a normal prayer) if you get a moment. 

These next pictures have NOTHING to do with what I wrote about...well, yeah they do, they are of my sweet baby girl just being sweet and cute. 

non-nap, nap post

Right now I am laying on my bed listening to my daughter not nap during nap time. It is actually pretty cute and since she took a small nap on the way home today, it is ok. Well, and to be honest, James and Brady are watching her tonight for a few hours so I am ok with her being grumpy. :-)  She's just in there talking to herself/babies, singing to her music, calling out her friend's names, telling her baby what to do...so far, no holler for mommy yet, surprisingly. 

Anyway, I thought since the internet fellas finally came today to fix our DSL that has been down for over a week, it would be a great time to post. I just uploaded 11 pictures, why does it put them in the wrong order? I try to upload them backwards and they are backwards, I try to upload them normal and they are backwards. What the heck?!?!

And there is the poo poo cry...the cry she knows I have to come check at least. So the cry she uses even when there is no poo poo. Brilliance at such a young age. Maybe she'll be a politician! :-) I think NOT.

Nope, no poo.

Nana and Bopa came to visit on their way back from CA last week and Courtney was happy to have them. (so was I of course) Every time she has been with them, there are tons of people there so she hasn't really gotten comfy yet but I think it helped for them to be at her house and just have the two of them. She was supposed to go visit for the weekend but I started having an anxiety attack (quite literally) and decided to wait a couple weeks. Not that I don't want her to have some time without Mommy and Daddy but I wasn't ready for the first time to be 4 days! I thought I was ok but I wasn't. So, she is going to stay the first weekend in March, just for 2 days. We'll start small.

On Valentine's Day I took Paul and the kids to a chocolate festival in Eureka. It was cool, for Eureka. On the way back we stopped by Turpentine Creek to see the lions and tigers and bears. The bears were hibernating but we saw lots of lions and tigers. Courtney is OBSESSED with Alex (Madagascar) so she thought they were all Alex and was calling them all Alex. I was surprised how much she was interested in seeing all the big cats. 

This guy woke up and was huge!!! I was so glad he woke up though because he truly looks like Alex. Courtney was just in awe!

I think he wanted to eat my sweet little baby girl...

Ethan wanted to know how close he was getting to the pole...In this picture it looks like he's getting close, but it's the closest pole he was trying to touch. He is so cute!

Two random pictures of Courtney. This is her wearing Ethan's shirt and 'taking a nap'.

Just chillin' after a tough day at school. Listening to some Casting Crowns on the iPhone. She has a strange desire to listen to music on headphones. Even in the car she wants to plug the headphones in to 'her music' in the back of the Tahoe. 

bitter sweetness of being a mommy

Yesterday morning Courtney woke up with a fever. When Courtney gets a fever, she doesn't mess around. It usually goes to about 104 and likes to stay between there and 103. This isn't the first time she's had a fever like this so I don't freak out, though I don't like it at all. She took a cool bath where she sat there and proceeded to tell me "Ommy, Ortney Old" (mommy, courtney is cold). She didn't cry or throw a fit, just repeatedly told me that. The rest of the day she slept, on me. Which is where the bitter/sweet part comes in. Although Courtney is getting more 'cuddly' as she is getting older, she has never been one to sleep on me or her daddy. She has never fallen asleep in random places. She is a sleep in her own bed type of girl. But yesterday was so different and awesome! Though my heart ached for her not feeling well, it also was filled with comfort as my little girl curled up on my chest over and over throughout the day. 

She is feeling much better today, just a mild fever but back to herself. 

Right after her bath in the morning, drinking milk and watching Little Einsteins.

About 20 minutes into Little Einsteins.

After a brief nap since I had to get comfy and woke her up.

Enjoying a little more Einsteins...

Out again...

Another nap after a little barfing.

Cuddling with mommy before bed.

post valentine's day blues...

He loves me not...no, not my husband. He will always love me. My computer! I may be wrong using the term "he" when referencing my laptop, it acts much more like a 'she'. Whatever, IT hates me! I had it in for service a month or so ago and decided to clear it all off first. I backed up everything onto a handy dandy dvd+r that holds more than enough stuff all on one disk. I thought that was great; I'll make it brand new, send it off, they will fix the keyboard that Courtney felt looked better without the \ key and I would get this "like new", perfect working order computer back. Oh the dreams I had of posting pictures, typing emails, getting reminders again. But, my dreams have been crushed. My computer does not want to read the disk I burned. Yes, the ONE disk that has EVERYTHING on it does not want to work. I was ok with that last night. I got over the pictures I have lost and the information along with it. I thought, I'll just revert back to an older back up disk and I will survive. No, no, no. Not in the cards for Annie either. The outlook backup gets about 99% done then says "can not read disk" or some cr*p like that! To make things even better, I have recently cleaned out my office and gotten rid of all my 'old old backup' disks. I figured I wouldn't need them. I guess, I was right, I don't need them. But I sure would like them! So, no contacts, no pictures from the month of January (which is a lot when you are me), no documents, no calendar events, no...heck, I don't even remember what else. Oh well, at least my husband still loves me. :-P

I'm back...I think...

I just can't seem to get back in the swing of things here! I don't think I have been on the computer for 5 minutes in the last few weeks and if you know me well, that is CRAZY! We are all so busy it's out of control. Paul is working all over the state and even has a big job going in Texas, so he is super busy which is a total blessing in this economy. I am working KDO 2 days a week, bible study, MOPS, spiritual development class...etc! So the computer just isn't top on the list anymore. I would have never figured that would happen. 

As most of you know we had a crazy ice storm a few weeks ago. We were fine as Paul hooked up the generators and we had little heaters running, the fridge and freezer were on a rotation, the tv was available, Courtney got to camp out in our room, we are blessed with friends who let us shower at their house, and we got our power back a short 3 days after it went out. Courtney loved her snow suit for the occasion and even wore it in the house and to sleep in (we couldn't get the house much above 55 degrees). So a special thanks to Brandon and Nicole on that one!

Bo's fence didn't survive the icicles.

For Sale....still!!!

Reminded us of Narnia...

2 weeks ago Grandma turned 80. WOW, 80, I can only imagine. The kids and I headed to my parent's house for the weekend to celebrate. She looks good for 80, don't ya think?

The two photographers of the family get a picture together!

Doritos anyone?

Random cute pictures at Brady's house.

The other morning Courtney decided to fill the tub with water, cold water. And then she had a blast playing! She was so stinkin' cute. I love these moments of mother-hood.