I have enough for everyone. How awful is it that Courtney is almost 2 and she has not had a weekend...no, a night...no, more than 6 hours away from me and Paul? I thought this was normal, I thought I was being a good mommy but God told me other wise the other day. Ok, God himself didn't, but He used the powerful Perry Noble to tell me such a thing. I think P.N. stated it as 'way to go, you are raising a social outcast'. Oh, his word choice is amazing.
So, on that note, the anxiety part...Courtney is heading to my parent's house for the weekend tomorrow. I am meeting them half way (they live 4 hours from us) and letting the reigns go. Ok, not letting them go, more like making them longer. I can not let them go just yet, she is my baby girl. C'mon now!
But, I am having down right anxiety. Like, wedding day heart pompulations(I can't figure out how to spell the word I am looking for, just roll with me here). Like, too much caffeine heart racing. Like, can't sit still, gotta do something. Like, what the heck am I typing ANXIETY!
Am I worried about her? No, she's going with my parents. Seriously, what could go wrong? They live out in the middle of no where, at least 45 minutes to the nearest hospital. No worries there. They have lots of wood steps leading to a tile floor that she has once fallen down. No worries there. They live on a lake and she thinks she knows how to swim because I tell her so when she is in the bathtub of 5 inches of water. No worries there. She will be 4 hours away from home; not 4 steps. No worries there. Seriously, why would I worry? :-)
Honestly, I'm not worried. I am having pure separation anxiety. I am hoping she wakes up tonight crying so I can bring her to bed with me. Maybe I should go run the blender at 2 am or vacuum her room at 3? She might cry then and I would only feel right bringing her back to bed with me once she has woken up from such a thing. Right?
Oh, I will be fine. I will get to sleep in. I can go to Target (have you been to the new Target yet?!?!) for how ever long I want. I can...well, I think those are the only 2 things she hinders. She is perfect, you know. :-)
Well, we are off tomorrow, she will be back Sunday night. Please shout out a prayer (and seriously, shout it, so God doesn't mistake it for a normal prayer) if you get a moment.
These next pictures have NOTHING to do with what I wrote about...well, yeah they do, they are of my sweet baby girl just being sweet and cute.
2 comments:
You are one crazy Mama! I would say it gets better but it doesnt...when Alina has date nights with Shannon and Jim, Archie and I go through a "its so quiet without her here" stage and we dont like it. Even Anthony doesnt like it when his sister is gone. Mom and Dad asked to take the kids for their whole spring break (1 week) and my stomach turned to knots! ah, parenthood...
I so clearly remember those feelings with Belle. After #2, things are just different. You still miss them when you're not with them, but you CRAVE times alone. Or you should... I love me some Perry.
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