Sounds bad, right? Oh, no. It's not. It's becoming awesome! Yes, there are tough times, times I am at the end of my rope. Even times (actually A time) Paul called and I answered the phone in tears and simply said "here, YOU try to talk to Courtney". ...she would NOT go to bed, nothing more, nothing less... But what I have actually realized is that I take so many small things for granted.
Being a stay at home mom since the day my daughter was born, I know nothing else. Courtney knows nothing else. If I was to say "Mommy is going to work", she would literally look at me like I was crazy and probably say something the the effect of "no, DADDY is going to work". It's the way it is in our family and I am truly BLESSED to have the ability to say that. Times like now especially as Paul is in CA to earn money as he was laid off 2 weeks ago.
Since Paul has been gone I have quite literally spent every waking moment with Courtney, other than 2 hours of gym time. Don't want to be a liar or anything. And on the honesty note, that is A LOT of alone time with your daughter. (she rarely naps) It's tough some days, especially when it's raining to think of things to do. Even Courtney is tired of tv! That's where the simple things kick in. Seriously. Playing ball...yes, we play ball IN our house...with her. TICKLING her. Coloring. Making the only thing each of us knows how to with play doh; snakes. Playing pretend. Reading a book. Watching WipeOut. Letting her help put dishes up. Watching her play in the rain. Playing in the rain WITH her. Letting her figure out how to button her jammies; even if it takes longer than I do.
All these things we have been doing together. And many times she has just looked at me and said "I love you, Mommy". Or just her giggle. Today we did something for Daddy...he doesn't know yet, so I can't go writing about it on the internet...and she looks at me and says "THAT is why Daddy loves me". Really, our 3 year old knows these things!?
Tonight I read Courtney a book before bed. I will admit, I do not always read her a book. It's just not part of our bed time routine...but tonight she asked and I did. I read her this book:
it is 63 pages long and has a paragraph per page. Not the shortest book in the world. But I read it, and I LOVE reading to her. And when I said "THE END", she grabs the book and says "my turn to read it to you". And you know what? I let her. And I'm glad I did. I learned tonight. I learned that my daughter not only loves me reading to her but she really pays attention. She went through each of the 63 pages and read it back to me. No, not word for word. She can not read, yet. But she told the same story right back to me in her words. It was PRICELESS.
It's the simple little things in life that matter. May we all remember that.